


Fading Light

by ClaireKat



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alien Keith (Voltron), Alien!Keith, Angst, Galra Keith, Galra Keith (Voltron), Galra!Keith, Gen, a psychological struggle for acceptance, alien keith, more alien self loathing angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-22
Updated: 2016-07-22
Packaged: 2018-07-25 23:02:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,127
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7550653
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ClaireKat/pseuds/ClaireKat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Keith confronts a side of himself that he still isn't sure is real, barely managing to keep from being discovered in the wake of his own personal turmoil.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fading Light

**Author's Note:**

> Another idea I had for some slightly introspective Alien Keith. Why do I love to see him so confused and scared? Finished proofreading and all right as the Comic Con stuff seems to have hit so can I just say I'M SUPER HYPE and this can also serve as some Alien Keith to celebrate. ;D

He couldn’t believe this was happening; all that came to mind as he stared into the mirror before him was a perplexing string of questions swirling in chaos and confusion. He had to be dreaming, that was all. Maybe if he went for a walk, got some fresh air, grabbed a glass of water, all of this would disappear. He had been going through a lot lately; all of the Paladins had. A small chuckle slipped through his lips, a curious mixture of exasperation and amusement, as he recalled the horrendous outcome of their latest training mission. His recollection, something he used as a temporary distraction, was shortly lived as he refocused his eyes on the foreign, nervous face gazing back at him.

Or, at least, what he assumed was his face. Logically he knew he was the only one in the room, the only one gazing into the smooth, unchanging surface of the reflective glass. He wasn’t sure who else it  _ could  _ be. He knew he had seen other creatures like this; the memory of them turned his stomach and caused an involuntary tightening of his muscles. If the face in the mirror really  _ was  _ his, then there was no denying that his navy irises and white sclera had both been replaced by a sickening, glowing yellow shade.

He winced as a clawed hand delicately caressed the inexplicably furry face in the mirror – and Keith felt the sensation. He squeezed his eyes shut for a few moments, an action he had already desperately employed a few times. But, just as the times before, it seemed that his desire for what he saw to disappear wasn’t going to happen through something as simple as a wish. His eyes slowly fluttering open, the image before him wasn’t changed in the slightest, although Keith swore that the features he had surmised to be ears drooped ever so slightly.

He hid the fluffy appendages under his hands, shutting his eyes again before stepping away from the mirror. He flinched and his hands sailed to his mouth as a metallic flavor skirted the tip of his tongue. It appeared that  _ everything  _ about him had changed form – his teeth were sharp enough to nick him if he wasn’t careful. Keith sighed and balled his hands into fists, trying to keep himself from panicking too prematurely. Sure, he knew what the situation looked like…at least, what it looked like to him. But he also wasn’t dumb enough to assume that anyone else who laid eyes on him right now wouldn’t jump to the same startling conclusion.

That would only happen if anyone saw him and this turned out to be not just a figment of his imagination, a result of his overworked psyche wreaking havoc on his senses. He thumbed through his brain, trying to recall if any of the minimal medical training he had received at the Garrison had mentioned anything about the existence of fatigued hallucinations causing sensual disruption in all five senses. Nothing but mental static and the images he had just viewed in the mirror trying to flicker to the forefront of his mind would come to him. He shook his head and raked a frustrated hand through his hair, thrusting his arm away the moment he felt a startling sharpness at the ends of his fingers prick against his scalp.

Two things occurred to him in the aftermath of this minor event. One, the fur he had felt on his face seemed to encompass his entire body, even under his hair, and two, this dual layer had kept him from penetrating his scalp with these new claws.  _ His claws.  _ Keith wanted to puke. He could feel the bile tingling at the back of his throat, and he closed his eyes this time, accompanying the action with a settling exhale. He had to pull himself together. Fresh air. Water. Those were the things he needed to focus on; especially now that the bile had left a burning ache in his throat.

Perhaps stepping out of the Castle for the fresh air wasn’t such a good idea; opening of any the of the Castle doors to the outside would certainly alert the others. That was just how Allura and Coran had programmed it. Water was his best bet then…he supposed for now it would suffice. He glanced down both sides of the hall to ensure that there was no possibility of anyone else spotting him, reluctantly deigning to use the enhanced hearing he had seemingly acquired to reinforce his observation. Upon establishing that the coast was clear, he slung his jacket over his head as an extra precaution before making his way swiftly through the corridors.

Dim lights dotted the walls in the Castle of Lions, their brightness indicative of the time of day; or at least, the time of day on whatever planet the Paladins happened to land on. If they were just floating along in space, however, Allura and Coran had been instructed to try and keep their cyclical operation to a 24-hour schedule. More often than not it was likely that the lights were turned down when everyone – or at least most everyone – agreed to go to bed, and brightened predictably when everyone had stirred.

For now, nighttime was supposed to have set in for the inhabitants of the Castle, and Keith had little reason to think that anything out of the ordinary was going to thwart his midnight stroll. He flicked the lights on in the kitchen as he ducked through the door, leaving his jacket on the counter as he strode over to the sink. The day that Allura and Coran had installed a foolproof system of clean water on the ship had been a true day for celebration, and Keith snickered under his breath again at the memory as he filled a glass with the cool, clear liquid.

He did his best not to look at his hand, although it was nigh impossible considering the way his fingers cradled the cup. Were they even really fingers anymore? He still had five of them, and they appeared to still bend the same way, but they were also furry and purple and tipped with undeniably sharp points, the name of which he knew but refused to allow himself to think again. Every time he dwelt on the reality of the situation for too long he felt himself starting to tense up, his heart shifting into a thundering rhythm as the fur on his body reacted to his panic and rose accordingly. He hated the sensation, the idea that his entire body was a stranger to him. He downed three glasses of water before forcing himself to stop, knowing that succumbing to the stress and failing to screen his reactions would only sicken him further.

“Water…you’ve had the water, now back to bed. No more training, take a few of those planned all-nighters off. You’ve been pushing yourself too hard, seriously, that’s got to be it. You’re hallucinating because you can’t get those monsters out of your head, and that’s all it is anyway. It’s all in your head.”

Keith took care of his cup and grabbed his jacket, shivering a bit as he once again considered the possibility that this might turn out not to be just a silly dream, an ignorable illusion. What if there was something bigger at play here, something beyond his comprehension that was bent on remaining with him, torturing him? Where could this have come from…had he been infected with something? Perhaps something had happened to disrupt his connection with his lion, or had he come into contact with some invisible substance in space that created such displeasing symptoms. He was having trouble remembering any particular traumatic encounters in which such a distasteful reaction would have been cultivated.

He also knew that there was no way he would be able to understand the full scope of what was happening unless he brought the issue to the others. Despite his desire to request their assistance, there was no way he could allow it. Keith couldn’t perceive a situation in which he would ever make the others face something like this, no matter the weight that threatened to crush him because of it. He would never even bring it up as a hypothetical; not only were they too smart for that, but he didn’t want to discuss the Galra with them. There was too much malice, too many wounds that he couldn’t bear to bring up, poke, or prod and cause his friends pain.  

Keith picked his jacket up off the counter and yanked it down tight over his head. There was so much going on, so much in the silence that swirled around him from this one discovery, this one eerie incomprehensible night. Were these really the kinds of risks, the kind of disasters that awaited the Paladins of Voltron? He knew that Shiro had experienced hallucinations and mental miseries like this, but never so specific, never so transformative. Again, he didn’t want to share this suffering with anyone. He could barely live with this, he didn’t know if he was strong enough to summarily incur the pain of his team, provoked by his own selfishness.  

He started back towards the door, his feet coming to a grinding halt as he heard the unmistakable tap of approaching footsteps. He reached for his bayard, needing to think of something fast; he wouldn’t be able to get out of their line of sight before they recognized him. And if they did, they weren’t going to let him walk off without asking him what he was doing. It was uncommon for him to come to the kitchen for midnight refreshments. Usually he would just use the bottled waters that were kept in the training area, if he was indeed training. Suddenly the potential for danger and discovery had skyrocketed, and Keith sifted through the numerous ideas churning around in his head, trying to decide on his next move.  

He knew that if they stopped him, wanted to talk to him, he wouldn’t be able to just brush it off. It would be too suspicious, and he definitely didn’t want any of them asking questions about or of him. He saw a foot cross the threshold into the kitchen, turning around to hide himself as his eyes continued to dart around frantically for a solution. Soon enough, they landed on what he believed would be his best bet.

“Hey…oh. Keith, is that you? I don’t know who else would be caught wearing a dumb looking jacket like that, especially draped over their head. Hey, what are you –”

Keith snapped his arm out, his sword forming from the end of his bayard as he sliced through the light switch at a speed almost unperceivable to the human eye. Satisfied with the distraction and cover he afforded himself, he rushed to the doorway and attempted to escape down the hall. It appeared that the person he had unduly startled wasn’t keen to let him off so easily as they reached out and grabbed his jacket, causing Keith to stumble. He righted his feet but remained facing forward, his breath frozen in his chest.

“Keith, what the hell is going on with you? Why did you just kill the lights like that?”

It was more than clear to him that the other inhabitant of this suddenly icy space was Lance. He was certainly the last person Keith ever thought about opening up to about something like this, and he didn’t want to stick around and find out just how correct his predictions regarding the others’ reactions would be. He just had to run, flee for now and lock his door and pass out for the night. Then this mess would be over and hopefully he’d never have to face it again.

“It’s nothing, just leave me alone.”

“But Keith –”

Keith turned to face Lance, just for a moment. The area they were standing in was still veiled in darkness, the lights in the hall too far away to cut through the shadows. Lance felt his throat go dry, his limbs trembling as he took a step forward and tried to find the words to ask Keith what has happening. In the next moment, Keith vanished, and that was that. Lance remained rigid, his fingers curling into fists as he tried to comprehend the meaning of what he had just seen, if what he saw wasn’t just a trick of the light. But there was no light; no light but the unmistakable glow of two spectral golden eyes. Somehow he felt he had even managed to read a measure of fear and regret in them.


End file.
